Sabrina Winters

I am often asked why I practice in an area of law that is filled with so much sadness, grief, and heart-wrenching conversations. It’s a legitimate question especially if you know me. The truth is, I am very emotional. I am a crier; I feel my emotions strongly. I am immensely empathetic to people. After the passing of my uncle, I saw these descriptors of myself not as flaws anymore but as true strengths...strengths others could rely on and depend on.

Good and bad “things” happen every day to every one of us. These “things” are what make us who we are. How we allow the “things” to affect our lives is what shapes our future. My uncle’s passing twenty years ago was my “thing”. It was the “thing” that mapped out my future.

My uncle had a great sense of humor and a lackadaisical attitude about life. The kids in the neighborhood called him the “Candy Man” because every time he came to visit, he would have a trunk full of candy to pass out to all of us! He never forgot a birthday…ever!!! Without fail there would be money taped to the inside of our card with a “silly self-portrait” he would draw of himself.

My uncle was happy to a fault. Nothing ever concerned him; nothing ever had a sense of urgency for him. Life was life and it was what it was going to be. He was a happy man during his life. The unanswerable question has always been and will always be…was he happy at the end of his life? I don’t know the answer to that and yet I was there when he took his last breath. I think of him often and always wonder what he must have been thinking? Was his pain anything like the heartache his family went through having to watch him slowly lose a little bit of himself?

I questioned so much; questions which after twenty years still cannot be answered. Was he regretting brushing me aside when I would try to talk to him about getting his documents in place? If he had to do it over again, would he? Would it make a difference to him knowing at the end how emotionally beaten my father was after he died? Would he have done anything differently if he knew the heartbreak his family would suffer not being able to help him with his pain? What if he knew those that he held dear to his heart would be petty about the “stuff” he left behind?

It was gut-wrenching to see my father watch his brother die and wonder what my uncle was thinking as he saw us all by his bedside. Was he proud of the funeral and service we had for him or was he up in Heaven laughing at all of us because we were all such emotional fools? Did we do what he wanted?

No family should ever have to live with the burden of having to make the decisions my father had to make. We felt alone and hopeless with so many questions yet no one made any efforts to answer any for us. No one should live with doubt; always asking themselves if they did the right thing. No loved one should bear the pain of watching a family member die when there are so many alternate ways in which to manage their end of life.

The Firm’s purpose is to be the hand you reach for to guide you in planning for the worst day of your life and the hand your family holds during the worst day of their life.