I never liked being married but was for 14 years. I didn't have to marry but thought I should because I was getting older, my friends were married with kids, yadda yadda yadda. My mantra is "failure is not an option," not in a draconian way but more so tease out the issue & change course as needed. The burden of our lives was left to me to financially support & tend. I became more desperate & depressed, I rehearsed getting a divorce in my head, it caused great chasms in my relationships with my family & at work. I became a workaholic to avoid going home. I told my ex, I wanted a divorce after one of his angry tantrums of which I had become immune. We did marriage counseling twice, he dropped out after a few sessions but I continued. One day I just brought in a phone book (they still exist) & asked my therapist to sit with me while I call to make an appointment with a lawyer.
It was a pinnacle point in taking back my control. From that moment, it was as if I entered Oz, black & white to color film. It was a metaphoric hand holding, Mr Skemp, Joe, got to understand me, where I was & how I was falling apart. I was being totally controlled by my ex. Joe & his staff walked me through the process, help me negotiate & help me let go of my losses by looking at what was still possible. They did not waiver as much as I did because they were not living in the situation. They guided me through it. That call changed my life. I did not find it too expensive, less expensive than I anticipated. I had to put the initial cost on my credit card but it is a debt well earned. I've talked to other women about their divorces, women whose husbands decided to "retire" on their dime too & I am grateful I chose Joe Skemp & his team. Wisconsin is a 50/50 state & if the woman earns more or invests more financially in the household, it is held against them & the husband then can get "maintenance" aka alimony. My work with Joe & my ex was fair, yes, I got stuck with debt but under the circumstances, I did not get stuck with having to pay 7 1/2 years of alimony to a "retired" man. He fared well too.
Now it is done, I am a divorcee. I have not felt any sense of calm yet b/c ex is still moving out. But I have Joe Skemp's phone number & the court to support me if I need them.
So to end this story, the call was the hardest, but if you are rehearsing ending a marriage, make that call. I did not know how vulnerable I was then but now I do. Joe Skemp Jr & his team was great, it was eye-opening, & it was affordable. My life matters to me & Joe reminded me that it can be done. I do not have to survive life by working myself into a deep depression or desperation. I liked Joe & his team but loved their support. Joe Skemp Jr & his team will always be mine.