John W. Kellis

You may recall the now-defunct publication, "Who's Who Among American High School Students." It was produced by an organization that would broadcast your accomplishments (actual or fictional). There were only two requirements to be featured in this prestigious publication: (1) be literate enough to read the the unsolicited materials sent to you or your proud parents; and (2) pay a nominal fee. If you accomplished both, the organization would be happy to sing your praises without pesky factchecking to ensure you were, in fact, named the smartest person ever to graduate in your state (or whatever creative accolade you desired).

If you're reading this, you have stumbled upon the lawyer version of that publication. Except, here, no attorney is given the choice whether they want a page; the pages are created automatically, and they cannot be deleted.

So feel free to browse my Avvo profile which I have claimed for the sole purpose of showing how anyone with a law license and an internet connection can write literally whatever they want about themselves to gain your business! Additionally, fun fact: an attorney can sign out, go to their own page, pose as an anonymous person (or even provide a fake name), give themselves a positive review, and their Avvo profile will show that their "client" gave them amazing remarks! Yay!

Legal disclaimer: In accordance with UCC sec. 867:5309, virtually everything in this profile that Avvo allows one to edit is false and should not be used for any non-satirical purposes whatsoever.