Can I avoid Going to court or settling outside of court ?

If this is in criminal courts, you should repost under criminal. You can contact who is demanding payment and find out more information.

You must disclose all discovery asked for, including the items you mention.

Do you have to notify the defendant about an extension to serve them or you don't have to since there is no jurisdiction yet?

If the defendant has answered or filed any pleading, you can serve by mail.

Demurrer?

No. Until the ruling on the demurrer you are not required to answer.

Can you request a judge to put a case on "hold" while you recover from an illness if the statute has not ran out or should you?

Either, though the Court may not grant continuance. There are risks of dismissing.

Dealing with defamation from my Ex-Wife?

Defamation is a very specific claim, and does not include general harassment. Filing police reports and many other actions, are very difficult to...

You can file a motion to amend. Be very cautious in filing malicious prosecution case, they are met with an Anti-SLAPP motion which could lead to...

Can a memorandum of pts and auth. be filed with a civil complaint??

There is no reason to do so. You can include authorities in the complaint, or as an exhibit.

Limited civil cases settle for more than 25k with the penalties and damages?

All damages, except interest and costs are limited to $25,000. If the other claims arise out of the same transaction or occurrence must be brought...

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Can I as a tenant who lives in a Condo (owned by different person) take a legal action on Condo Association?

You can sue in small claims court. Make sure you review the CC&Rs.