Ask the public defenders office if it is possible to get a different attorney.

You would be obtaining benefits on false pretenses.

It’s a personal decision. Perhaps as part of the reestablishing the relationship you can request specific communication.

Your attorney is violating ethics rules. But that may not assist you now. Look into how to get the attorney replaced.

Consult with experienced attorneys in the state where this occurred. Use the Avvo search tool to find an attorney....

You will need to directly contact proper attorneys. Use the Avvo search tool to find an attorney. https://www.avvo.com/find-a-lawyer

This facts do not present a conflict of interest.

It depends on state law. In states I have seen all you need is a judge or other authorized authority.

No it is not an ethical violation assuming they are not threatening criminal action.

Consult with experienced attorneys in the state where this occurred. Use the Avvo search tool to find an attorney. https://www.avvo.com/find-a-lawyer