I concur with my colleagues. Failure to disclose can have catastrophic consequences down the road.

When are you officially divorced ?

Date on form Fl-190: Notice of Entry of Judgment.

What if I purchased the phone and pay the bill? Can my ex copy private texts to my kids and use them in custody hearing?

Yikes. Much like social media, never posting anything you don't want stay up for perpetuity.

When my son witnesses domestic violence with his father's girlfriend can i cut off visitation until we go to court?

The proper way is to file for a DVPA to protect your child who was a percipient witness to domestic violence.

Great question for an experienced family law attorney. You can find one here on Avvo as the other attorney will likely not believe what you found...

What can his family actually do from a legal standpoint?

I've seen even more ridiculous cases filed. Especially pro pers.

I'm I divorced after a default judgement ?

Sweet. Now all you need to do is submit a default judgment.

Can my company inform me that I can no longer take 2 weekends off a month? Its in my orders given from California family court.

The court only has jurisdiction over the parties. As such, any orders are not binding on 3rd parties including your employer.

Will the fact that our kids (boy and girl) share a room affect gaining primary custody?

It sounds like you already have primary physical custody of your child(ren). As children blossom and become pre-teens, they need their own privacy...

I need to know if my ex has rights to my son he is not the bio dad?

He may qualify as a presumed father. Let him file and retain an experienced family law attorney in filing a response.