Will it be very hard for us to acquire a K1 visa?

Yes but not impossible. I would consult with a lawyer on this case.

Yes he can be a joint sponsor.

You need a lawyer now.

Cant renew license due to an Out of State hold. DMV gives me 60day Interim Licenses since 12/2010.

I think you have no options other than pay to release the hold.

When should my wife get her name changed during the GC process?

You should have filed with the new name. Try to update w/ USCIS or have your lawyer do so.

Its been 90 days waiting for oath letter

Go make an infopass and inquire at the local office.

What happens to my B1/B2??

You should be fine as long as your do not violate the rules on the J-1.

What can i do to help my baby daddy

True, then he may be able to get a bond with ICE. However, 250 is not going to be the amount. The minimum is 1,500.00

L1b to H4

apply prior. The Visa and I-94 usually match with the exception of a tourist/ business visitor.

Not without a court order. Your are protected by the 4th amendment.