Alison Anne Gill

Ive been married 33 years. I am 61 years old. This is a first marriage for both my husband and I. I have 7 children. Two are engineers, one is a professional Chef, one has his own business plus he just was promoted into supervision, one is deceased (he was 11, (traumatic accident), one is a high... school junior, and one adult daughter who is a mess! Only 1 child lives at home. Five kids are independent. I graduated from college with a BSN and graduate school in social services. I stopped working 7 years into the marriage. I was making 50K per year. Twenty-six years ago I quit my job to stay home and homeschool (est 18 yrs) Since my sons death 10 years ago, Ive had numerous health problems. Some still affect me. Breast Cancer since Fall 2011 with sx, chemo, rad, and new medication protocol. I achieved stabilization going on 4 years. New medication protocol has inhibited progression. This is not remission, or cure. The tumors are numerous, still present, non growing or spreading. There is no pain or obvious physical abnormalities. I do have hideous under clothes scarring from r breast sx. Ive had 2 total knee sx (1, 3 mos. ago, 1, 4 yrs ago) with great relief (arthritis). I have mental illness starting at age 8 yo. (This mental illness waxed and waned until my late 20’s). Medication even at this time was poor at best. I began medication for this illness in my early 30’s. I had stabilization of my mental illness without any hospitalizations until my sons death (31+years) After his death I had several hospitalizations for depression and anxiety. I had not experienced depression until my son died. My husband is an engineer at AEP with an est salary of 115k per year. By choice he spends 2 weeks per month with his aged father (94 years old) in Florida. No other family members participate in his fathers limited mobility and other age related difficulties. Several members live within 3 to 15 miles of my father in law. My mother in law is deceased. This is the dilemma. My husband is requesting a separation in 2 years when my daughter graduates from High School. Should our home be sold now, he would relinquish all proceeds to me. Although our marriage is far from enjoyable, this has shaken my world! His demands for a separation are questionable at best. Unfortunately my husbands extended family had and still has many secrets. In brief, this family was the “armpit” of both sides. My husband was not as well cared for as was and is his brother and his friends. His parents all but ignored our children. They preferred extra marital liaisons, verbal ugliness, stealing, lying, excessive alcohol use and cheating. Sadly, I am well aware of way, way too, too much! It is all but ridiculous! After marrying him I became aware of how much my husband has always relished any and all attention he could receive from them. Our family has not received monetary gifts, cars, etc, like his brother. Sadly his parents relinquished much of their income to his brother and had limited retirement resources from this, and recently have. Moving out of Florida almost 20 years ago has suppressed our knowledge of the many things they have done. His parents are cynical of individuals who have good retirement assets. Recent time spent with his aging father has reprised my husbands longing for attention. My husband has also become cynical of others retirement. He is using monetary resources reserved for updating our house to put it on the market I have limited income from him at this time. He has verbally threatened to “ cut me off financially”. He identifies this as joking. His comments are not unlike the verbage of his Dad. It is truly annoying. Rude name calling is also common. My parents were not “terrific”. They had difficulties also. To my knowledge there was no extra marital relationships, stealing, etc. or alcohol use. They were frugal with their financial resources.