Is a Marital Separation/Settlement Agreement valid if we are still sharing a home as roommates?

If it is properly drafted and executed, yes, it's enforceable. Living in the same house does not invalidate it unless the terms of the agreement...

I want to divorce my husband (Father of my son) we were married outside the usa

If you have lived here for two years you can get a divorce here. Where you were married isn't a bar.

If a DRO is required by the Judgment of Divorce or the Settlement Agreement there is no need to reopen the case - it can be settled on notice.

My husband and r ready to divorce but We got married in Jamaica N we live in ny I need some advice on how to start thx

You should consult a local attorney and file. That you got married in Jamaica is irrelevant.

Can I serve attorney instead of party?

No and no. You can't serve a new petition on an attorney unless that attorney agrees to accept service. And you can personally serve anything in...

About Motion date in court

That depends upon the circumstances. Do you expect testimony? Oral argument? Or is the motion to be decided on papers?

Is my car and/or my new house and/or my bank account subject to division in case of divorce?

Anything of value acquired during the marriage is marital property subject to equitable distribution, with the exception of personal injury awards...

Can I ask judge to set date to rule on divorce or do I have to start all over & lawyer file some kind of motion (discovery etc)?

Your preliminary conference order should contain a schedule including a trial date. Whether you need a lawyer or not depends on your ability to...

Can my husband or husband's family members file for divorce without my knowledge?

Yes, he could have filed without your knowing about it. However, if it was more than 120 days ago and you have not been served, the papers he filed...

My ex husband must attend court if he serves with court papers to resolve post divorce items, yes?

That's correct. He would have to appear if the matter is unresolved.