Is it possible to pay the lawyer have in the beginning and the other and at the end of the divorce

You could, but the reason why attorneys won't do it, is that they have been burned too many times by clients that won't pay their bills after the...

Its not clear what you are asking...........................

Does it make a difference for the judge whether the other party opposes or responds to a motion/petition?

Normally yes, and if not responded to its deemed unopposed. In Family Court the practice is that you don't have to respond to Petitions, and that...

"do I" have to remain in the state i filed a divorce in although my spouse is in another. may i move before its finalized

you are free to move, just not with the kids without permission or court order.

I would like to know if my rights were terminated due to my youngest daughter father cause of domestic violence ?

You need to review your court orders and see what was said there.

No, but there may be ways that income can be imputed. I strongly suggest you also keep your finances separate and file separate tax returns.

Do I have grounds to file a restraining order against the grandparents of my child?

It does not sound like you have grounds to get a TOP against them.

Spousal support, alimony or maintenance ?

Yeah, its need based and since you have gotten along since, then you have basically waited to long. I suggest you speak in more detail with your...

Can my ex get custody of my 14 year old son if we have no custody agreement in place. Just a child support agreement

As I said, you need to retain counsel and settle this matter. You do not want CPS sniffing around here. Please retain counsel.

Can my ex get custody of our 14 year old son if my son is doing drugs at his fathers house and his father had know about this? I

The Court will look at the entire circumstances and decide accordingly. This case screams for retaining counsel and settling before you get too...