Defamation is when someone makes a false statement (oral or written) about you, to someone other than you, that causes you harm. If the harm is to your professional reputation, it's defamation per se. Defamation in the employment context can be tricky becuase employers can comment about performance issues and give opinions without fear of defamation claims. However, if they make false factual statements, you may have a defamation claim. You should find an attorney that specializes in...
It sounds like you have a claim for retaliation, in addition to sex harassment. You should seek advice right away as you only have 90 days to file a lawsuit if the EEOC has issued a right to sue letter. If the EEOC has not issued a RTS letter, you should call the consultant and ask about the mediation process that is offered through the EEOC.
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In retaliation cases, you can seek past and future economic losses (wages, benefits, etc) and non-economic losses (emotional distress), attorney's fees and costs. You should seek advice from an attorney about a specific amount that you should seek.
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If you were selected for lay off because of your complaint, you may have a claim for retaliation. The law prohibits adverse action and treatment, when taken as a whole, materially changes the terms and conditions of your employment, because of your complaint. You should seek advice from an attorney that specialized in employment law
If the fire department terminated you for allegedly violating a policy prohibiting intimate relationships, but did not discipline the other person, you may have a claim for gender discrimination. You should find an attorney that specialized in employment law.
If your boss is making these things up to get you in trouble, and he is doing these things because of your race, you may have a claim for discrimination. If you have witnesses to racial slurs, you should find an employment law attorney and tell her to get witness statements right away.