File for custody before this child kills himself or someone else. You stand a very good chance in any state with his out of control behavior and the Mother's refusal to seek help.
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Usually asking for a divorce means nothing, the filing date of the paperwork is what matters. Having said that usually whoever keeps the car keeps the debt, thought it is 1/2 your debtunder the circumstances, the Judge will "get" what happened here.
The house and children are separate issues on a long term basis. If she cannot afford the house even after your chid support payments and other distribution of assets and possible maintenance to her, you can ask to keep it if you can buy her out. That request is usually granted. If neither can afford to keep it alone, or neither wants it, it is sold. You were ordered out most likely to keep the peace and avoid the stress for the children of having warring parents live together.
You or your lawyer should make a "Demand" for this video in writing and while you are at it ask for anything else that may be exculpatory, which is the legal term for something that hay help prove you are innocent. Either they will give you the video or they will not. If they give it to you, great, use it against them. If they don't move to dismiss the case because the prosecution failed to preserve a key piece of evidence that you needed for your defense.
Rather than seek to become emancipated, you should ask your local support collection unit to help you get child support from your parents, who have a legal obligation to support a child under 18.