The courts under equitable distribution shall consider whether your spouse engaged in marital waste and or dissipation of marital assets. If your counsel can prove by bank statements or credit card receipts that he or she is using marital funds on a paramour then you would be entitled to a credit for such marital waste and or dissipation of marital funds.
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Your spouse has the burden to prove fault in his summons with notice, conversely, if he or she filed a no-fault ground ie) irretrievable breakdown of the marriage all that needs to be shown is that 6 months prior to commencement of the divorce action the parties' marriage has been irretrievably broken.
To ascertain what is considered marital vs separate property the courts will determine if all assets personal, real property tangible and or intangible were acquired prior to the date of marriage which is deemed separate property unless commingled with the non- titled spouse during the marriage and or the non-titled spouse made a direct or indirect contribution to the increase in fair market value of a real estate asset ie) home improvements or added the non-titled spouse on a bank account...
You can file a peition for child support so long as you have not been declared constructively emancipated in the Courts
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if you have previously acknowledged paternity and you have an order of filiation you can file in the appropriate county in New York where your son lives with his mother a custody/visitation proceeding or alternatively if a Court order exists you may want to pursue a Writ of Habeus Corpus proceeding.