There are four main topics of discussion: (1) who you are and who are your next of kin; (2) what are your assets and how are they titled; (3) who do you want to administer your estate and what do you want to do with your assets after you die; and (4) advance directives, such as power of attorney, health care proxy and living will.
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A beneficiary has a right to demand an accounting. Also, a full accounting, with desired documentation (including a receipt and release) will protect the trustees. You should hire a lawyer to assist you with this matter.
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If the will was filed for probate, it is a public record. It should have been filed in Surrogate's Court in Kings County, New York. Your mother should have been notified of the probate of her father's will at the time it was being probated to give her the right to contest the will. You can review the entire file in the Record's Room of the Surrogate's Court in Kings County. After so much time has elapsed it will be difficult to contest the will. Didn't your mother know her father died. Why...