I was served family court papers 3am Sunday morning on club is this improper service? What will happen if I exercise that right?

Reposting to Child Custody. The judge can dismiss the petition and make him start over. Or, since you now know about the petition, you can...

Can an ALJ say the "parties agreed" for a penalty decision knowing that the respondent resigned and wasn't present to say no?

Reposting to Administrative Law, as Appeals is not the relevant category.

Reposting to Child Custody for more precise answers.

The litigation could cost you the 12K.

Are applications to vacate a court date automatically granted?

Often granted but no automatically. Less likely when it was scheduled so long ago.

Selected as the best answer

May I serve motion opposition papers from another state by mail: NJ to NY and have affidavit of service from other state?

That plan is satisfactory. Note that mailing papers from outside NYS was formerly improper, but is now proper. CPLR 2103(b)(2).

Do I still need to attend an appearance that was canceled by the judge, but still appears on the court calendar?

Call chambers and verify that the conference is off, explaining the history concisely.

Request for Judicial Intervention, Proof of Service, Mail vs. E-Filing, Court Fees

If the case is an e-filed case, you may serve the motion and RJI electronically; otherwise you may serve by mail.

Do I need a lawyer bc I filed an arrears violation?

On the first appearance you probably don't need a lawyer. Reposting to Child Support. The SCU is fairly payee friendly, especially if...

Reposting to Probate, as Litigation is too broad.