How do I represent myself and ensure the safety of my kids? How can I prove the dad is unfit?

Representing yourself is always difficult. You may want to borrow from family or friends to hire an attorney. Otherwise consult your local statutes...

Consult a local attorney for details on this.

Can you sunshine law/foia request anything regarding an ex parte order/report?

Typically those types of records are sealed and FOIA request will not work.

Besides Pro Se, what's most effective modified order for regular visitation? I miss my daughter and mother is unjustly denying.

You will need to file an enforcement action.

Is the drug test voluntarily or do i have to undergo the test? Also how come they didnt ask to speek to my kids?

If a court orders you to take a test then you must do it.

Can I get any of the child support that I have paid to son's father back? He owes me back support also.

Typically does not work that way. Your and his obligations are separate.

Can YOU tell !e if there is a protective order for me and my boyfriend

Typically those records are sealed from public view.

What needs to be done to crunch these numbers and find the true amount owed and stop this injustice help!

Consult a California attorney. With that amount of money you should be able to hire an attorney.

What will I need to do to get this investigated and fixed

You need to consult an attorney on this in California to find out what is going on.

AGAs sole custodial parent is sons father allowed to give us more time together if he wanted to?

Typically you cannot get more time without a court order.