What other options do I have as not many people can afford a private detective, including me?

There are a number of online services that can be useful in locating somebody. Also, voter registration records, court records, licensing records,...

Can I be charged w dv if I was arrested and cbarges dismissed already and I got protection order modified from hers to mine

Tell the truth and do your best to prove it.

You can probably just call and strike the hearing, then re-note it.

Women and children rights in live in relationship condition

Biological children definitely have a right to child support from their parents. Washington has started to recognize Committed Intimate...

What do I do if my sons father is emotionally abusive?

Your statement describes circumstances where you may indeed demand mediation. Use the proper forms to make a proposal for a new parenting plan.

There isn't a specific form for disclosure of witnesses. See PCLR...

If I am attacked in public by someone who previously threatened me under the guise of self defense, what is my discourse?

The self-defense statute is RCW 9A.16.020. https://app.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?cite=9A.16.020

What age in Washington does a child have a say in which parent they live with/ when does their opinion come into consideration?

The applicable statute says the court should consider "the wishes of a child who is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent...

My son was sentenced to 2 consecutive 10 year terms.

See https://app.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?cite=13.04.030 and State v. Cornejo (In re Boot), 130 Wn.2d 553, 925 P.2d 964 (1996)

Can I file a claim against a radio station/radio personality for putting me on the air live when I told them not too?

You may have a cause of action for invasion of privacy, wrongful appropriation of image or likeness, portrayal in a false light, libel, slander,...