IF a girlfriend files custody papers but serves them herself to me is it still valid?

No it is not proper service but I would not suggest ignoring them as the mediation may proceed without you or your input.

Looking for an attorney that charges a flat rate

Use the Find a Lawyer tab and call a few probate lawyers. There are some willing to negotiate probate attorney fees that are normally set by statute.

Can my sister remove me as successor trustee now that she has failed in the accounting of the trust fund and it is negative -$1?

Your post is confusing as it sounds like she is trustee in control of trust monies but is trying to remove you as successor trustee? You are...

How do I remove my mother name off the deed?

How was title held? If joint tenancy you can do an Affidavit of Death of Joint Tenant and record it. If held in any other way, you may have to...

How do I find out who is my mom's estate attorney if she appointed my cousin trustee and he refuses to let me know?

Your cousin is stringing you along. You have a right to a copy of the trust and annual accountings. Assert that right ASAP. An attorney can...

Is it too late to have my brother pay me a third of my parents home he took over after my Mom passed away?

If title was held with your brother in joint tenancy it may be too late. If not, you can probate your mother's share and an attorney can help you...

Stop! There are ways to determine if there was a trust and whether the house was in it. Immediately speak with an attorney who should be able to...

My mother passed 3 years ago and my step-father had the deed change 4 days before she died what do I do

Have an attorney review title and discuss with the attorney her medical condition. Period. There is no short answer that is going to give you...

The Will was lodged but not probated.

You are correct. An executor(rix) has no legal authority unless the Will was probated and that person was appointed.

You are dangerously close to, if not past the statute of limitations. If you have any rights you need to assert them immediately or lose them...