Can you file for omitted assets if you defaulted on your divorce?

Yes you can. Find a family law attorney to help you do this.

Am I a creditor of my mom's probate estate if I paid for the funeral and burieal (about $9000)?

Yes you can be reimbursed from the estate and you can seek repayment.

What can I do to get what was left to me ?

The will can't be enforced until it is admitted to probate AND someone is appointed with Letters to administrate the estate and the Will. But you...

I cant do it anymore

Yes you can divorce. You do not need his cooperation and it is a myth that he needs to sign anything. Get help from an attorney on this.

You have the right to create your own Trust, Will and to designate your beneficiaries as you desire. Your problem will be in the issue of...

How badly did I screw up?

Take the actual response document to the court and file in person. You should be able to do this as Pro Per. But you might be doing something...

What kind of power of attornery i need?

Power of Attorney won't work. You need to be appointed the administrator of the estate. Talk to a probate attorney.

My X husband died and I was his beneficiary on his retirement but they say I don't get it cause we divorced.

Not necessarily. First the judgment should have said something about the retirement plan. Second, how long ago was the divorce finalized? So,...

Quick Stupid Question / However you will understand and agree as to how

You answered you own "how" question. As to "why" I can't read minds. Get your own attorney and sanctions are possible against other party and...

In a divorce case, if the party shares emails between he and his attorney, does he waive his privilege for further emails?

Yes it is time for an attorney now. No sharing one email claimed as priviledge does not necessarily open up all of the other communications. But...