How can I divorce my wife when she's not a willing participant?

This is a common myth. You don't need her consent. Suggest you contact a family law attorney to help you on this.

Are there contingent beneficiaries of an estates residuary gift? If not why..? If so how does that work if the main beneficiary

Theoretical questions are not easily answered as we always need facts. Are you just asking for theory sake or is there a real life situation going...

Can I get that money back

Get an attorney to help you. You need legal expertise to get this done correctly.

Can property be split as we like in a Ca divorce, or will the court force us to split 50/50?

A division of the property will usually be upheld if the parties negotiated it freely and fairly between themselves and they understand what the...

Forcing the probate will be easy. This is done by filing a petition to probate the estate as a creditor, which you do have a right to do. The...

Yes but has she filed an RFO or is this an issue that she has asked the court for reimbursement?

Can I possibly get my house back? Could it be considered pre marital property?

I doubt the court awarded the house without an equalization payment. If so, it is appealable but why didn't you have an attorney? A court will...

Can I request and possibley have a fair decision awarded?

How can you state that it wasn't a fair decision? You had to make the requests for support and pension. Did the judgment retain jurisdiction? ...

What can I do to document to prove his hostile/abusive behavior to me? I just don't want it to be my word against his.

His whining's are irrelevant to the divorce. Ignore them. If you react to them, then you are affirming him and giving him too much power. Hire...

After 30 days if she hasn't responded to the paper work for the court docs. and i file another doc to proceed without her can sh

30 days after what filing? Are you asking about filing a Request For Default? You can't be "sued" for filing a default if she doesn't file a...