A lot of unknowns, you should talk to an attorney.

They can charge you but you should ask your attorney.

Marijuana is an federal offense so yes you can have issues if immigration officials know.

There is no telling you how long before file is transferred.

Yes he might get deported it all depends why he is in jail among other things.

Yes that is correct way to go with a legal name change.

No a tradfic ticket will not prevent you from renewing.

She can travel with her American passport.

It is hard to know without knowing specifics. It might they are reviewing or if you state approved then might be case status has not updated.

It is hard to say how to strong their case. You should schedule a consultation with an attorney to go over everything relating to your case.