Your wife may designate whom she wishes to appoint as her agent by instructing her attorney to draft her POA which expresses her wishes.

Post unclear regarding what was denied? Re-post with more information.

Either settlor may revoke trust during joint lifetimes.

Stop taking poison, immediately see doctor for full evaluation, report all information to law enforcement.

If trust does not state alternate successor trustee, your attorney may file petition and have you appointed successor trustee. Much more case...

Yes. Right to challenge validity of trust lost if you do not object to validity within statutory period. Link...

Yes. Person diagnosed with dementia may retain sufficient capacity to sell home. Specific answer depends on case specific facts not provided.

No. You were imprudent and money cannot be recovered.

Your attorney knows answer to your question because he has both pleadings. Review both pleadings with him for answer to question.

Your attorney can assist by conducting search of public records. Search may begin with title records related to family home.