California- If I have sole physical and joint legal custody, do I need to get consent from the other parent to home school?

As a technical matter, you do have to get her agreement per the court order, but as a practical matter, if she doesn't contest your actions,...

Can my ex and I file an agreement to set aside wage garnishment for alimony and child support?

I would file a Stip & Order to waive wage assignment and then terminate with a FL-195.

Appealing defendants counter claim when i am the plaintiff. questing regarding form SC-140?

In the cross-claim, you are the defendant.

Can my wife and I agree on an uneven division of my pension if we're doing a QDRO?

Yes - but it has to conform to the terms of your Judgment, or you have to amend your Judgment.

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Considering my "situation"--(see below) would it be "worthwhile" to hire an attorney or should i do my (our) own divorce

You need to get a restraining order and a 'kick out' order; go to the self-help domestic violence center at your local courthouse.

What is a "prove up" in an uncontested divorce In California? Do you have to go to court?

You do have to go to court; you will have to prove that you have a right to whatever it is that you're asking for and usually the court requests...

He has to file the FL-141 and he also has to do what he is declaring under penalty of perjury in the Fl-141 that he has already done.

You can also submit all documents by mail. Here's a link that explains the process; http://www.courts.ca.gov/1033.htm

Im permanent resident for 15 yrs and want to apply for us citizenship but i owe child support will this affect me becoming us?

I've changed the practice area to Immigration.

Can someone violate they're own temporary restraining order?

No - she isn't prevented from contacting you but she may be showing the court that she has no fear of you.