Can I get a better deal than the standard 1st time offender for assault on a family member?

Moving question to criminal defense category to get answers from local VA attorneys.

Statute of limitations does not apply to what you are describing. You need to speak with your attorney.

Why do they dismiss a case and then still ruin your life?

It's not clear exactly what you are asking. Suggest consulting privately with a criminal lawyer to review.

How does the statute of limitations work? Does that mean if I've avoided being arrested after 7 years my warrants get dropped?

Warrant's don't expire, meaning SOL does not apply. You need to consult with a criminal lawyer to review the details and options.

Im 17 and got a ticket for bringing weed to school?

Community service is the most likely option..........................

I used credit card that i found how long will it take to get a warrent for my arrest

Can't make an accurate prediction as it will depend on a variety of factors.

How do I obtain certificate of disposition?

First steep would be to contact the court clerks office. They will advise.

I was caught shoplifting at Walmart , all I took was socks shirts , 18 first time offense what will happen to me ?

Can't say for sure exactly what will happen, but you will probably have diversion as an option.

What to do when I'm in the middle of a money laundering scheme?What are the consequences?

Moving question to criminal defense category for answers from NC lawyers.

What can be done in the state of Texas about a sexual predator who raped and sodomized her nephew up to age 14?

Legal action now? Difficult to say for sure as it will depend on a variety of factors. Suggest you make a visit to your local police/sheriff...