As POA for my elderly mother, can I use her credit card to pre-pay for funeral/burial costs prior to her death?

Yes - IF that power is specifically provided for in the Grant of the POA.

How do I demand my mothers property from the executor of my grandmothers estate?

Hire an experienced Probate attorney to help you sort this out.

What exactly should the estate lawyer be doing , how do we handle him and the "family"

This is an Intestate Estate. I recommend sitting down with an experienced Probate attorney to sort out the best options. Good Luck

How do I get the power of estate and would I have to get it done in Nebraska or can I get it in South Dakota?

I agree. A Nebraska probate attorney would be your next logical step. See Avvo.com under 'Find-A-Lawyer'. Good Luck.

Can this be considered a criminal offense in addition to a breach of trust?

I concur. Seek legal counsel and take your documentary proof with you to the meeting.

What do we do now? What happened to my Mother's trust?

Have your attorney assert your rights as to a copy of the Trust and as to an accounting. See Avvo.com under 'Find-A-Lawyer'.

A beneficiary designation on a 401(k) or IRA takes precedence. It does not become part of the Trust. The Trustee needs to give each beneficiary a...

Do I have a legal recourse to ask the attorney to reimburse me for the penalty that resulted from his negligence?

If the Retainer Agreement spells out the division of responsibilities, look at that first. Normally it is the responsibility of the Executor to...

How do I go about compensation for going unpaid an basically evicted from my home ? Am I entitled to any of the estate

The sooner you sit down with an Estate Attorney the better. See Avvo.com under 'Find-a-Lawyer'. Good Luck.

How are checks distributed when a house sells from a lady bird deed?

I concur completely. It's probably best to negotiate with the creditors to see if a satisfactory resolution is achieveable. Good Luck.