Is there anything I can do?

All of this can be handled in the divorce process. If she is making purchases that benefit the kids or the marriage however, there is probably not...

She has a lawyer, I am out of state, what would be the smartess and less costly way of doing this.

Yes you can fight all of those things and you should most definitely get the opinion of a lawyer before agreeing to anything. Many lawyers offer...

If the gal is recommending custody to my son's father how can I contest it

Well that is a very complicated issue that you are dealing with and many factors are involved. You should set up a consult with a divorce...

How can I see my child, who lives in IL if I will live in other country

Yes you have rights if you are the father. Before you go, you need to file a motion to establish the visitation schedule. You should consult with...

How can I change my child's last name if the father didn't sign the birth certificate and I don't know where he is?

A Petition has to be filed with the Court. You should consult with a family law attorney about the process and seek representation to make sure...

Can a divorce that was granted but never signed or filed be reopened

You should bring the decree or send the decree to a divorce attorney for specific advice. Was the decree signed by a judge? Was there a prove up...

Should I get all the financial paperwork on my end before serving my spouse? Do we have to live a part for time?

You have just to live separate and apart for 6 months by the time the divorce is final so you can file now. In terms of your financial paperwork...

Yes she could file a motion and ask for support retroactively in accordance with statutory guidelines. You should get credit for what you pay. ...

Will I be able to take this child with me legally and will I be able to get him to pay child support even while I'm away?

This could be very complex and I agree you should first consult with a family law attorney.

How can I go about modifying this O/P? What do I need to do? Is there a specific petition for it? How does the process work?

File a motion to modify it and for an evidentiary hearing on it. You should consult with an attorney to make sure you have the best shot at this.