What is the first step of changing a joint custody

Your father would need to motion the Court for modify parenting time and/or custody.

I do not know what my options are after I retired, I am 80 years old on a limited income and still pay alimony to my ex-wife?

In Minnesota you could motion the Court to modify spousal maintenance. I would think NC has something similar, however I suggest waiting to hear...

Do I have legal and physical custody of my son now that his mother has passed away, or do I need to file with the courts?

I agree with counsel. You need to start a hearing to establish your rights. I would also expect it to be helpful to have paperwork in the event...

I was awarded my ex wife's whole life policy in the divorce. Shortly after the divorce, there was a payment due. Who's to pay?

If the decree is silent, it is not determined. However, you may argue she ought to pay if she misrepresented its status as paid.

If my wife files for child support, does her son’s father have the right to know where we live?

Based on child support, no, however parents with custody rights typically have a right to know where their child is living when not in their care.

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I suggest you contact first child support enforcement for the County doing the withholding and the bank to make sure there are no further issues.

From what you've described I don't see jurisdiction moving to CA, however you could try. Regardless, you may want to bring a motion to modify...

How do I go about my child support case and termination of parental rights when the father is found mentally incompetent?

Keep in mind that terminating his rights would also sever his child support responsibilities. In addition, typically a Court is looking for a...

If I get the house after the divorce, does my ex-husbands name have to stay on the loan?

If you can successfully refinance the loan you can take his name of the loan. However, without something else like this in place the bank is...

I want a divorce, he has signed the papers but won't give them to me?

You may need to proceed through the Court system without his cooperation. There a series of steps required to do that.