How do I make changes to a pending petition?

This is a good question to discuss with your attorney.

The only way to get a deferred judgment is to ask the judge for a deferred judgment at sentencing

You would not qualify for a court appointed attorney. There might be a volunteer attorney willing to help.

Dose dad's wife have to follow will instruction about life ins

That depends on how she got his life insurance. You should speak with a probate attorney.

All of that sounds appropriate. You should speak with a criminal defense attorney ru in your area.

Will I be in big trouble?

If nobody was around and nobody saw what happened, it's highly unlikely that anything will happen to you.

Can me and my fiancé be declared married by common law

You're common law married if you say you're common law married. That's it. There's nothing tricky to it. If both of you say that you're married,...

Can an arrest record be expunged in Iowa?

Nope. Records of arrests remain public forever.

Filing a false police report is a crime. You can go to jail for this. You should speak with an attorney before saying anything in court.

Can I have my ex arrested for breaking a no contact order?

Theoretically, that is possible; however, it is highly unlikely. You should contact the police and report the attempted contact.