How much does it cost to get a divorce? do you need a lawyer? how long is the process?

I believe especially when there are children involved it's a good idea to have an attorney. Cost is going to depend on various factors so that's...

Can I bring charges on a person for paying child support

I don't see a legal crime. Maybe a moral one but that's it. Child support doesn't stop just because she dropped the kids off to you. It stops when...

If the divorce decree states that I have to make an attempt each year to refinance the house how many times do I need to try.

If it's worded that way, I would say once. Your attorney should have explained it to you when you got divorced. See one now.

NJ Divorce Judgment filed Dec 1996 equitable dist was never paid. Do I have legal recourse to enforce payment?

You should. contact a local attorney.

Legal separated paying child support now needing complete divorce

Only option is file for one.

Is he being fair?

Discuss this one with an attorney live.

His to get visitation with my son?

You'll need to file to modify and I would suggest you get an attorney. Presenting medical evidence can tricky if you've never done it before.

Ex-wife keeps filings motions to keep me away from boyfriend's son.

Well, you and your boyfriend need to get by the hearing next week. Your boyfriend should have an attorney. She lost the first one and losing this...

They can. You need to get an attorney to handle this first. As far as a lawsuit, concentrate on getting your son back first.

What do I do?

Sounds like what you believe is going on. You need to get an attorney.