You can definitely frame the issue as medical neglect, but generally speaking a cold isn't life threatening, unless it becomes something more...

Grandson doesn't get to make that choice; parents or judge make that decision. It the parents agree, that should be pretty simple. I still...

You adopt her, change the birth certificate and put her in your will.

If the court orders say that, then yes. If not, then no. Unless some type of agreement was made.

Have your mother buy the car and put your name on it after the divorce is final.

The best you can do at this point is put yourself on the putative father registry in North Carolina and get an attorney there.

That would be pretty hard to do, since a lot of it involves signing paperwork and if you aren't with her, it would be difficult to make life/death...

EXs GF has no rights. You need to file a motion for contempt.

At the ages your children are now, I would say it's okay for them to share a room.

Everyone's definition of reasonable is different. It does sound like you are being micromanaged though. Set your own "reasonable" boundaries.