Contact a criminal defense attorney and find another way home.

This is a real estate question. You should have gotten a house inspection and or used a lawyer. It was likely also disclosed in the MLS listing and...

What?

Don't eat it! Make a return and seek a refund; that's it.

What are my options if my car's paint was damaged by the dripping from some leaky pipes in my employer's underground parking lot

You can report the claim to the property owner. That or file a claim with your own auto insurance carrier.

I was asked to change my name to start my position

You don't have to change it. He does not however have to hire you. Either way there is no case!

Unless you get sick and receive medical care, not really. Just seek a refund.

You'd have to research to see if there is a Mass Tort case against the companies who made those products. If not, not likely.

No. Just take your prescription someplace else.

No. Its a workers' compesation case. All benefits must proceed thru the system. Ask for medical treatement and file the claim. You can still hire a...

Exactly. Plus you were at fault. Fortunately everyone was ok considering.