Alcoholic Husband Not Working, Emotionally Abusive
Jul 22, 2013OUTCOME: Fair Settlement, Both Parties Satisfied
Divorce Attorney Lisa Forberg represented the wife, Linda (not her real name) who is a brilliant high-powered career woman. Her husband Andrew (not his real name) had retired early from a low-level job ... and was devoting his later years to drinking and verbally abusing Linda. Communication had broken down over their lengthy marriage to where everything he said was met with quiet rage and distrust. Yet, they both wanted to be able to be in each others' presence at future family events without discomfort and without anger. So, they chose the Collaborative Divorce process to end their marriage. Both Andrew and Linda hired their respective lawyers and the lawyers picked a financial professional and coach/facilitator to make up the collaborative team. At the heart of the conflict was his fear that he would be destitute after the divorce and her resistance to paying alimony to the "drunk who let her down." Linda had trouble accepting her marital disappointments because it made her feel vulnerable. She also struggled with forsaking her marriage vows. As long as she could focus on what was wrong with Andrew she avoided her own feelings of sadness and guilt. Over a few months, through discussions with the coach and with her attorney, Linda finally saw how her emotions were making it harder for her to settle the terms of the divorce. By acknowledging her deep disappointments, Linda was able to focus on some of the good things her husband had done for her and for the marriage over the decades, including after his retirement. He was no longer "the other" but someone for whom she could feel some degree of compassion. The case quickly settled after that point, and the parties, who had started the process in a state of controlled rage ended the process shaking hands and wishing each other well.
