What are the executor's responsibilities as to providing periodic reports to the beneficiaries (values & costs)?

The law where the estate was opened is going to control the reporting requirements. You can always get copies of anything that has been filed with...

What to do about it

As a Wisconsin attorney it sounds like Mr. Kenyon has given you the correct advice.

If my grandma has control of the estate, can she choose to auction the house even though my brother and I don't want to?

If she has the power to do so under the terms of the trust then she can do it. However, she has a fiduciary duty to you and your brother to handle...

Would it be possible, without hiring attorneys, to have a different financial adviser handle my share of the trust in NC?

Since you say that the funds are already separated out then it should be possible to have a separate adviser for your share of the funds. If you...

What kind of trust?

Sounds like you need to be speaking to a divorce attorney and an estate planning attorney. If the intent is to protect your portion of the estate...

Yes, but to be sure that it will be given the effect that you want to achieve then you should speak with an estate planning attorney in your area.

How does tax return work when you live (in VA) and work (in NY) where there are no reciprocity agreements?

You should consult a tax professional to be sure but the short answer is that you will get an offset in Virginia for taxes paid to another...

Attorneys typically will work on a contingency when there are damages and insurance. Since your question does not describe the type of case that...

What are our options to proceed?

If there isn't a backup executor named in the will then someone will have to qualify as administrator. They will take the will to the probate...

Is there any legal action to force the executor to sell the house?

I agree that you can ask for an accounting and probably get the court to force the executor to act. You probably can also file for partition. ...