Can I ask for meeting my asylum officer to get some info about my application status? Or is there any legal action I can take?

No there is no way to expedite the decision. There is no legal action you can take. In addition if your travels take you to your own country your...

When to i485 for derivative Asylee?

You must have your status as an asylee for one year before you can file the I-485.

Can I use green my card and my passport that reflect my maiden name on my travel without me getting in trouble?

Yes you can use your passport and your green card with your maiden name.

Is there any way i can file for A U Visa? Knowing i don't have proof of anything since i was litle and couldn't file for myself

You cannot file for a U-visa based on these facts. The crime must have occurred in the United States.

I paid for student visa can i use for b1/b2 visa instead

You cannot switch to a different visa without actually applying for that specific visa. The payment is only for the student visa.

It is impossible to predict success without seeing all of the information that was submitted originally and on appeal.

Will I have any problem to come back to usa ? will there be any possibility that i can enter usa ?

You can travel but could face questioning upon your return.

Will i have any possibility that i can not enter usa again ? will i have problem to come back to usa ?

You can travel but may have difficulty returning without scrutiny particularly because of the current issues.

Can fiance qualify for tourist visa?

Yes she should be able to get a tourist visa but could have a more difficult time.

Can I get the J1 visa the second time if my 2 years of home residency requirement were not spent home, but internationally?

Yes you can. The requirement is essentially that you stay out of the United States for two years.