Your first question "Is there anyway to avoid the court process," I would answer in the negative. You will likely need to appear in Court. You need...

Attorneys can waive the rights of their clients - your boyfriend should hire an attorney or he can demand that he be present at all proceedings...

Hire an attorney........................

My mother is leaving from her apartment..... She has been there over 6-7 years... Yes there is damage to the carpet but....

Do not believe the hype - what law and whose carpet?

Hire an attorney................................

Sue who? For what? Answer this, would you expend time (resources/money) on suing someone for this and, if the answer is yes, with what hope?

Can a person under 18 be put on the sex offender list for life

More facts are needed - laws, such as sex offender registry laws, change. I suggest that the person of whom you speak hire an attorney immediately...

Provocative - this reads like a law school question. Do you need legal advice?

Do I still have a record even though my incident was expunged?

Look to Mr. Rothstein's answer - New York does not expunge records.

Can the DA Office force me to testify when I am a victim and the DA Office insured I would be given protection and assistance in

You must comply with a subpoena - the DA can force you to testify...