Is accepting the misdemeanor my only choice?

This is a discussion that needs to be had with your lawyer. Do you have a private attorney? If not, i would suggest hiring one.

If your arrested in NY, and your case later gets dismissed and sealed, does the ARREST record show? Like being handcuffed?

If the complete matter was dismissed and sealed, it should NOT show up on a subsequent background check with a few exceptions (law enforcement).

Whats gonna happen to my buddy?

It's a serious charge and your friend should retain an experienced attorney immediately

Can I lose my nursing license if I let my son, a convicted non violent felon live with me?

No, there are no restrictions in regard to who you live with

My lawyer wants to me about my plea deal then she said we should talk about downward departure what does that mean do i file it.

You do not do anything. Your attorney does it. Your attorney will try to limit your time you are facing in custody of you take a plea

What can we do to keep him out of jail?

Your son was lucky that NYC decided not to extradite him. But, if he wants to take care of the matter now and not have to live with this warrant...

Can i go visit my babies father even though there's a temporary order of protection

If the OP is a full stay away, NO you will not be permitted to see him at the jail.

You should definitely retain an attorney to represent you in this matter. How fast are you alleged to have been driving over the limit?

Trespassing

You are required to appear on the date issued at the bottom of the summons. Sounds like you got a desk appearance ticket. Call an attorney for...

On the next court appearance, will this information about the incident be available for the prosecutors to see? it is something

It's very unlikely the assigned ADA would know about this unless the person was re-arrested. Hopefully this person realizes that they need help and...