Who should be responsible for this banks neglect?

Ask for an accounting and verify their opinion. Acquire the services of a CPA. They are often mistaken.

Can I sue my ex on breach of promissory/ verbal agreement after 8 yrs

You have a case, but you may want to retain a PI to locate him first.

Will a verbal notice of intent to leave stand in court if I was never on the lease?

I agree, it needs to be in writing to sustain the burden of proof.

My parked car was hit by an uninsured driver. Should I take the other driver to small claims court?

Yes, and your ability to argue your facts is enhanced by the fact that you can speak without an attorney.

Generally speaking, he can put a lien for money owed for work performed.

Unless you signed a document binding you, and based on your facts, you have acted as a representative and are not personally responsible.

Do i have to except the 1st plea if not will i get a 2nd plea offer ?

Tell your attorney that you wish to obtain a better plea offer and have your attorney negotiate for you. It is possible.

Do I have to except a replacement blower or can I demand my refund as agreed on.

Because of the mixed messages, I would hold off on any litigation and continue to pursue resolution with management.

Will a judge give a one parent custody of kids with one parent having a domestic violence case against them

The answer is in the facts, but the standard is what would be in the best interests of the child.

Yes, you need judicial intervention.