Can I sue my ex wife and family members for fraud and deceit?

No.

Can I put the adoptive parent's name on the birth certificate when I have my child?

That would be improper.

I am a pro se litigant in a NY divorce case. My spouse's attorney filed an Affidavit in Opposition in a matter involving child

If it's an Affidavit in Opposition presumably you have a motion pending. In that case your next filing is a Reply.

My wife of 44 years left to go to Texas last week. She said she is cashing in her 401k. This is something shee has to split wit.

You should immediately contact a local divorce attorney and discuss the status of the account.

What kind of Lawyer do I need?

Litigation.

I would like to claim an abondoned house from a deceased relative, no will was involved...

Contact a local trusts and estates lawyer (not divorce) and see what can be done.

I need legal advice on how to get divorce hearing extended or dismissed on the hope for reconciliation since we had sex recently

Get a local lawyer. It's really your best hope.

Requesting an Extension for a demand/complaint of networth

It depends. What's the specific deadline?

It depends - what does the separation agreement actually say? If it gives you the right to keep the child deduction, you're under no obligation to...

What are the financial options for a stay at home Mom facing divorce? I have no money as my husband has controlled the money

Most likely. Consult a local attorney and explain the situation.