Why was I denied my x-husband's pension

The first question: why are you asking the local? Serve the domestic relations order on the plan....

Will the judge make me pay for my ex's lawyer?

That depends. If you already are divorced, the question is why you're back in court.

Child support not being paid due to unemployment

Yes. Arrears accrue until a petition to modify is filed. But - is this the result of a separation or settlement agreement? If there is such an...

At some point, couldn't she get sanctioned? Also, must every subsequent submission of hers be titled "amended"

Until the court says no more she can file. It would be extremely unusual for a court to bar such a request.

My ex husband is not paying for any of the children's bills that he is responsible for a 63% portion.

File a petition in Family Court seeking to hold him in contempt and to enforce the decree.

If your husband is the monied spouse - that is, if he has/makes the money - he'll end up paying your legal bills as well as his own in a divorce.

Can i take my exhusband back to court because he is not doing what he is supposed to in the divorce decree as to fixing the hous

Yes. You can file an Order to Show Cause seeking to hold him in contempt.

Does a post-nuptual SIGNED letter, have any 'significance' or legal 'weight' in Divorce Court in New York

No, the document is not enforceable. However, when you say "of my own money" - that may matter a lot. If the money was premarital and was never in...

In a letter of intent /demand to sue -do you have to include your info and name?

You seem confused. Obviously if you're demanding something the other person has to know who you are. And your letter isn't what you're complaining...

A lie detector test won't help you. A lawyer may or may not be able to depending upon what he said, to whom, and when...