Seeking advice in obtaining temporary custody while things can be worked out in court. Do I have a case to get temp custody ?

You need to file a petition with the court and get custody of your children. You need to find an attorney to represent you because this ha to be...

If I don't show up for trial to testify will all the charges drop

This needs to be posted under criminal law. I will repost.

How enforceable would be that document ? and would be the best way to handle this custody ?

You need to give more info particularly what is your partners position.

There are child support calculators online that you could use to input both your and the custodial parents income and reach the amount for basic...

If Discovery is not complied with you can notify the court at the next conference or subpoena the information.

Can I place a restraining order on him?

You can file for an order of protection if he commits a family offense against you, but the scenario you have mentioned does not rise to the level.

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What can i do to win custody? can i get my daughter back?

You need to hire an attorney and file a petition to get custody on your child based on her now denial of your access to the child.

Can I use an affidavit to show my children's pediatrician and school that I do not have an order of protection against me?

If they are asking for an affidavit then you make one stating what you know to be the case. However it seems more likely that you may need a court...

Can I go get my stuff without my dad there, I have my keys? What does the law say about my stuff?

You need to make sure you have clear permission to enter. Don't put yourself in jeopardy of an arrest.

How much maintenance will I owe?

More info is needed. But if you want a ball park figure google NYS maintenance calculator. You will need to figure out child support and and to...