Is there anything legally that determines when the children can be told about a pending divorce?

Common sense. If you have an attorney, maybe speak to them before you do this.

If wanna turn myself in an a warrant should I go to the court house?

Speak to your attorney before you do anything. Please do it asap.

If a restaurant was inherited. Is it still 50/50 split when they get divorced?

Inheritances should be seperate unless they are comingled. Speak to an attorney asap. Please do not hesitate.

Can my divorce be put on hold and how can I tell if it is on hold?

If the papers were submitted to be finalized then they were submitted. If just a summons/complaint were filed then nothing will happen without an...

Temporary restraining order?

What was the result of the Court apperance?

How to change primary residence of child to other person in joint custody.

Its unclear what you are asking. .................

Can i still have visitation with no rights?

If the stepmom has custody of the child, then it is possible she can get child support for the kids.

Since you are not the custodial parent you are not entitled to collect child support on behalf of the children.

I suffered a documented trauma from an affair in NY can I sue her lover?

Not in NY. If you would be in NC you'd have a chance.

House ordered to be sold when youngest graduates high school. (next year). and proceeds split 50-50

You need to follow what the divorce decree/settlement agreement says. You may need to speak to your attorney.