How do I protect an inheritance? should I have a special needs trust

An SNT is the way to go. Further details are in the many articles and Q&As on special needs at SpecialNeedsNJ.com

My daughter is seeking an attorney for child custody, her husband walked out, moved to his mothers 45 mins away but insists on

Mom should consult a local family law attorney.

Am I obligated to turn over all assers from a deceased person to DSS if that person received medicaid?

Maybe. See a local elder law attorney.

Can I stop my aunt from being in charge of the desisions made from my mom?

You need serious legal advice. See an elder law attorney to get a better read on your chances.

The trustee can sell the house and pay for a rental for you. Lots of good info at specialneedsnj.com

Ditto, what Gary said. If dad won't come, see an el lawyer yourself. It's important!

Can I have half of the money in a joint bank account?

As Gary G. says, Medicaid is complicated. You NEED an elder law attorney consult. It is not a simple question.

What is a reasonable fee for an elder lawyer to rewrite a revocable to irrevocable trust

$7,500 could be high, low, or fair depending on work done and complexity

Should my brother buy my 50% interest in a townhouse that we inherited seeing that he lives there rent/mortgage free?

Not really a legal issue, but your approach seems fair.

How do you prevent a relative from being removed from a nursing home.

Guardianship may make sense but there are issues.