How can I file for custody of my two year old in NJ and contest a divorce

You need to get into court and protect your interests.

Vesting is irrelevant. You have your entitlement which you need to explore and to decide.

My court order arrived today and it stated that my request to have my son emancipated is granted, in part. What does that mean?

It appears that the judge is giving your ex spouse the ability and opportunity to set aside the emancipation order.

I had a divorce remarried and then divorced that person. in the first divorce i was granted a portion of his pension.

Yes your interest in the pension is unaffected by your remarriage and second divorce.

Married for 10 years with one kid. What could I expect in a divorce?

It is not clear what your questions are however from the facts, you have an entitlement to alimony, support for a child, and a division of assets...

What happens in court at trial for contempt of court (violation of restraining order) if the victim doesn't appear ?

You seem to have a good case to reveal lack of fear under case law.

Fees in a domestic violence case are compensatory damages not traditional attorneys fees so you do have extreme vulnerability toward them. If you...

Is it common procedure in NJ to exchange trial exhibits before the trial for a divorce

It's up to the trial judge to establish procedures. If none are in place ask the law clerk. But try hiring an attorney.

Emancipation

Given your question, you will need a court order for emancipation especially if there's no consent. So, you should consider filing that motion...

What can I do to make sure my ex's son is not around my son ?

First thing you need to do is to make your concerns known to your ex. After that, you should be filing something in court if you cannot reach...