You call it a loan. Is that what your husband thinks it is?

Yes it will cost more because more work is involved.

Is there a chance to collect arrears for child support from a parent who fled overseas to Poland and owns more than$150 thousand

Unless he has assets in the US to attach, it will be very difficult. You could consult an attorney in Poland to see if he can domesticate your US...

Difference between answering ex-spouses motion to avoid having warrant issued for his arrest with motion or certification?

You should reply. You should also seek the services of an experienced divorce attorney.

What can be a done if process server is unable to serve divorce notice to defendant despite repeated attempts?Am I stuck ?

You need to either perfect service, or file a motion for some substitutes service. There are no other options.

How do I go about getting a public defender?

Public defenders represent defendants in criminal cases. You are not entitled to one as the victim in a DV case. Call the county bar association...

Does dyfs try the track down the person who rightfully so reported a child that is suicidal?

Who wants to know? DCPP reports are anonymous. They will never report you.

How do you advise I go about this?

Just appear on the date for the final hearing and advise the court you want to drop it.

Can I seek a seperation and divorce for emotional and mental abuse?

Of course. The gun/daughter issue should have been reported to police immediately.

Report it to police, and tell him you are doing it.