No you must marry, file AOS and apply for EAD.

It depends on whether she is immigrating at the same time.

Your wife’s DS260 does not need to be completed at this time if she is not immigrating with you.

Yes you should provide a full explanation for any incident.

It appears the answer would be yes given information provided.

You can notify the officer at time of interview.

Generally no this is not an option.

More information is needed. Consult with an attorney for guidance.

3 year rule would apply and you can apply 90 days before that period.

Best to use the Avvo search tool to find an experienced attorney in this matter.