I'm afraid you have been seriously misinformed. However, there may be a few strategies we can use, if there is money available from you, to change the ownership and the mortgage to you and your mother.
Please see an elder law attorney to discuss options.
I can't tell from your question whether the will was filed after your father's death, but based on my understanding of your question, you have options. You need an attorney to intervene on your behalf to advise the court what is going on and name a new personal representative to settle the estate. You have a right to see all of the documents and receive an accounting of everything in the estate.
I would recommend a trust with a trustee who is not your spouse, but someone who will take care of your son's finances until he's old enough to handle your estate.
In NC, your husband may elect life rights in the home.
Please seek legal counsel to create the correct estate plan.
The trust will be part of your future estate plan, but first I would recommend discussing your investment strategies and goals with a certified financial planner. The planner will be able to work with you to make sure the your money is invested to accomplish your personal goals. Estate planning should be part of this strategy and a trust may be the answer or it may not. Seeking the advice of an estate planning attorney will be an important part of your plan, but the money your receiving should...
The beneficiary designation trumps the language in the will. Even if it was your dad's intent that you receive this money as individuals, since the estate was listed as the beneficiary on the actual IRA, the IRA became a probate asset. Instead of being able to take the money incrementally over your lifetimes, the payout will be immediate, causing unwanted tax consequences.
Your dad is not alone in making this error. Everyone reading this needs to check their IRA beneficiaries. I've seen money...
I'm so sorry. I see this type of thing often. To everyone reading this, contracts and properly documented estate plans need to be drafted! Preferably by a lawyer. There's a reason we go to all that school. Yes, it costs a fair amount, but it keeps your family from getting hurt. Without a written agreement, it's very difficult to honor the terms as you understood them. Your best hope is for the family to concur with your understanding and if they're willing, to sign a Family Settlement Agreement...
There isn't enough information to make a determination. Usually, the money from the sale of the house is a trust asset. However, if the money has been used or wasn't titled in the trust and if the trust is revocable and there isn't anything in the estate or trust at mom's death, then it's likely having the trust won't be of consequence.
I highly recommend you see an attorney skilled in trusts.