You mentioned that there was an officer. Was that a police officer? I would suggest obtaining the help of the local sheriff. Call the sheriff's department, explain to them the situation, and also request a civil standby order. Alternatively, you can always bring your ex boyfriend in for contempt, asking for sanctions. However, call the sheriff first.
Whew. It is rough, because a court is going to want to ask you why the no contact order should still be in place if you are making contact with him. At the same time, it is not going to rescind the order just because you want it rescinded, and if there is a lifetime no contact order, something rough must have gone down. Have you ever had a parenting plan in place? If not, this is the time to do so. I would suggest you get a parenting plan immediately, make it clear in the petition to...
Would you have to pay child support? Probably, until your son turns 18. Child support is determined by adding up the income of both parents and figuring out what percentage each contributes to the whole (it is all a rather mathematical process). For a divorce like the one you described, I would say the amount it you cost depends on the lawyer. However, this far down the road, do not expect you have to break the bank, considering there are no property issues, no custody issues, etc.
Yes it would most almost certainly prevent shared custody. You are in a rough patch; moving for employment enables you to better support the children, but you will probably see them much less. That is a decision no lawyer can make for someone. What is the current residential situation? Is there a parenting plan in place?
This is an estate planning or wills question; as stated above, the law of wills and estates is in section 11 of the laws of Washington, and us family lawyers deal with section 26. Regardless, enjoy being in the UK, it is very hard to find Branston Pickle here in the states.
Clarify with your attorney what he meant. Opposing parties who are not represented need to be able to get information about what orders say, but in no way should he be receiving any "help" in conflict with your interests.