The provisions of the will generally control as to who is the executor. If the executor was to be both then you have an affirmative duty to step up and get some control of the matter. The courts generally do not appoint executors "behind someones back". I am guessing there is more to this fact pattern then you are able to share here. If she is properly appointed you have certain rights, including seeking removal of her as executor for cause. However, simple disagreements will not trigger...