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Thomas Allen Neil

Thomas Neil’s Answers

568 total

  • Can i lower spousal support from original court order if my X wife is making a significant amount more money in CA

    My X wife was making $35k yearly when we divorced and now she is making over $50k yearly. My income has remained same. Can i have alimony payments reduced.

    Thomas’s Answer

    Look to the wording in your Marital Settlement Agreement. Does it say "Non-modifiable"? Was the support part of a global agreement where she agreed to give up something in return for spousal support.? If so, then it might not be modifiable

    But if it was just what a judge ordered at a hearing, and not part of a global agreement over all issues, then it might be modifiable. Consult with a local, experienced family lawyer.
    Tom Neil

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  • How do I get a restraining order filed against someone? What proof is necessary? What kind of harassment qualifies?

    The Ex-Wife of my Partner is harassing me, she sends me text messages and leaves me voice mails. Just today I was notified by my head of HR that she has sent e-mails to my work. Can I get a restraining order? What is the process to file for one...

    Thomas’s Answer

    You go to this webpage
    and begin filling out the Civil Harrasment Forms. It is not possible to tell you how to fill them out in this forum. If you are having problems filling them out contact an experienced local attorney and hire him or her to either just help you fill in these forms, or to completely represent you.

    Tom Neil

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  • Are both parents legally responsible for a child's medical bills?How to enforce that?

    We are going through a divorce and have one child.I provide medical insurance and pay every month money for her insurance.Can I make him pay half of the insurance premium? And when I take her to the doctors I pay all the copays and they are hi...

    Thomas’s Answer

    You probably will not get a judge to order that he pay half of your premium but he could be ordered to also buy his own if it is available through his employer. A judge will order either or both parties to maintain health insurance (premiums) - each at their own expense - if it is available through their work at a reasonable cost. What is a reasonable cost ? Basically, If it is available through work, judges find the cost reasonsable. Why would a judge want both parties to maintain insurance? Because if double insured, the second insurer often covers co-pays that the first insurer wont.

    But a judge WILL order a father to split co pays for copay bills occurring AFTER you bring a Request for Orders that he pay half (i.e. you cant request payments off half until you have an order in place that he pay half). Also, the copays must be reasonable - you can't sign your son up for special gold braces when normal braces would do, and then demand dad pay half.

    Have an experienced local attorney help you write your Request for Orders for dad to pay half the copays costs.

    Tom Neil

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  • How does a male go through divorce without Loosing his ass?

    A friend is going through a divorce where he was married 18 years. 13 of that he was emotionally, sexually , and physicaly abandon. How can he leave without loosing half his pay ?

    Thomas’s Answer

    He should, first, only marry a woman who has as much income as him, and file for divorce if she is unwilling to work (which makes her a stay a home wife or mom which makes spousal support more likely). And file for divorce if she emotionally, sexually , and physically abandons him, because that is a clue that things are going to end up badly and the longer you are married the longer his spousal support will last. And don't have children with such a woman because you will likely end up paying child support.
    BUT since he failed to take those precautions all he can do is HIRE AN ATTORNEY to try to minimize the money he has to pay.
    PS. Tell him to avoid saying in court that "she emotionally, sexually , and physically abandoned him" because those are just words and the court will not be at all interested, so bringing it up will just waste the maybe 5 - 10 minutes he will have to speak in court . And she will just deny his allegations.

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  • Divorce after a very long term marriage. He was the wage earner, I've stayed home. He lost his job, how do i request alimony?

    He wants to divorce, after 27 years to pursue his long term affair partner. I'm seeking employment, but will need help, even then. I surely need it now! He earned approx $100,000 per year. Do i make a support request when i file my origi...

    Thomas’s Answer

    DANGER !!! In you divorce petition check of the box labeled "spousal support" payable by the other party.
    BUT, if you have any income from any source and he is completely unemployed then YOU could possibly be ordered to pay him spousal support. I have seen it happen. So, before you draft file and serve a Request for Orders for the judge to order support, first at least consult with an attorney to ask who would pay who and how much.

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  • Can I adopt

    Can I adopt my nephews in california 20 and 19 years old and can get immigration benefits they are illegal here

    Thomas’s Answer

    As to the adoption question, here are some relevant Family Code sections that might help answer if you can adopt.

    Fam. C. section 9300. (a) An adult may be adopted by another adult, including a stepparent, as provided in this part.
    (b) A married minor may be adopted in the same manner as an adult under this part.

    9301. A married person who is not lawfully separated from the person's spouse may not adopt an adult without the consent of the spouse, provided that the spouse is capable of giving that consent.

    9302. (a) A married person who is not lawfully separated from the person's spouse may not be adopted without the consent of the spouse, provided that the spouse is capable of giving that consent.
    (b) The consent of the parents of the proposed adoptee, of the department, or of any other person is not required.

    9303. (a) A person may not adopt more than one unrelated adult under this part within one year of the person's adoption of an unrelated adult, unless the proposed adoptee is the biological sibling of a person previously adopted pursuant to this part or unless the proposed adoptee is disabled or physically handicapped.
    (b) A person may not adopt an unrelated adult under this part within one year of an adoption of another person under this part by the prospective adoptive parent's spouse, unless the proposed adoptee is a biological sibling of a person previously adopted pursuant to this part.

    9304. A person adopted pursuant to this part may take the family name of the adoptive parent.

    9305. After adoption, the adoptee and the adoptive parent or parents shall sustain towards each other the legal relationship of parent and child and have all the rights and are subject to all the duties of that relationship.

    9306. (a) Except as provided in subdivision (b), the birth parents of a person adopted pursuant to this part are, from the time of the adoption, relieved of all parental duties towards, and all responsibility for, the adopted person, and have no right over the adopted person.
    (b) Where an adult is adopted by the spouse of a birth parent, the parental rights and responsibilities of that birth parent are not affected by the adoption.

    9307. A hearing with regard to adoption under Chapter 2 (commencing with Section 9320) or termination of a parent and child relationship under Chapter 3 (commencing with Section 9340) may, in the discretion of the court, be open and public.

    As to whether it will gain your nephews citizenship; This AVVO section is for family law questions but that is an immigration question. You might want to repost your question in AVVO's immigration questions section. Good luck.

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  • Having severe problems in making visitations happen, child expresses unwillingness to visit and refuses to let go other parent.

    The other parents had thrown every legal maneuver available to cut my relationship with my child - you name it they have done it multiple times. The latest has been child refusing to go with me for visitation. The other parent does not encourage...

    Thomas’s Answer

    When you say the court ordered "reunification therapy" it makes me think this may not be a family law case but possibly a juvenile dependency case. The rules are quite different between those two types of cases. You should repost your message and clarify (1) whether it is a family case or a juvenile dependency case, and (2) IF it is a juvenile dependency case, then how long did the court give you to reunify, and are there any further court dates coming up or did the court terminate your parental rights, and (2) exactly what the current custody orders are, and on what date were those orders made, and (4) what exactly the other parent alleged about you that made the court gave him custody and you only visitation, and (5) how old the children are, and, (6) how did the other parent scare off the therapist? Without all that information it is hard for any attorney to give you advice.

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  • Lawyer says he is unavailable for ex parte hearing -- for an entire month.

    My ex isn't complying with part of a court order for 30+ days-- it effects the kid's access to medical care. Ex & I are both in pro per. I notified ex that I would be filing an ex parte if he did not comply with the order by a certain date and...

    Thomas’s Answer

    I had a case last month where an attorney called me and also emailed me and said that he represented the other side, though he never filed a Substitution of Attorney. He was an active attorney, I checked the State Bar web site. But, when we bought our ex-parte he did not show up. SO: Do not listen to what the attorney tells you - he may not even really be representing the other side. And even if he is representing, you do not have to await on him; Attorneys are supposed to serve "Notices of Unavailability" to you if they are going to be unable to appear for some time period.

    If you have a TRUE emergency - meaning that the child is about to be injured - not just that the other side has not provided you coverage cards (that would be a subject for a regular hearing), then go ahead with your exparte. And don't worry about what the maybe attorney says. If you think MAYBE it is an emergency then go ahead and, worse case, the judge will not hear it as an exparte but will instead set it for a normal hearing at a later date, about a month out. But if there is really NO EMERGENCY that is about to cause immediate physical or mental harm to the child then do not bring it as an exparte, set if or a regular hearing, because you may upset the judge and the Judge may remember it at future hearings. And, if there was no emergency the other side could ask for attorney fees for having to appear for no good reason.

    One final thing; Make sure you find out about and comply with the court's local rules regarding notice.

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  • What do I do if custody default was never vacated?

    3/11/2010 Pet filed UPA 3/11/2010 Pet filed Proof of Service of UPA 4/14/2010 Res filed DVRO 5/3/2010 Pet appeared in court for DVO Resp did not...dropped. 5/7/2010 P filed REQUEST TO ENTER DEFAULT ..... default entered.... In ...

    Thomas’s Answer

    Custody is never set in stone, unless somewhere in the past year's proceedings a judge terminated your parental right which I doubt has occurred. You can request a custody modification IF BUT ONLY IF you can show the court a significant change of circumstances that requires a modification of the existing custody orders. Please be clear there is no legal right to 50-50 custody or to any amount custody. And, if you haven't seen your kids for years, it is very likely that you will get minimal time with your kids initially and ramp up your time over several years if things go ok.
    As to HOW to bring your modification request, you had your default taaken so the clerk should not allow you to file a response and also might not allow you to file a Request for Orders (for custody modification). My only thought - that MIGHT work (no guarantees) - is to file your own UPA action with a new docket number and a Request For Orders (to modify custody) using that new docket number, and have mom served with those documents. You will have to pay the $435 court's filing fee or, if your income is less than about $1300 to $2000 depending on your family size you can ask the court for a fee waiver. What all forms you need, and how to fill them out, is beyond the scope of a short answer here.

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  • Grandparent rights in california

    iam looking for the exact forms i need to file for visitation right. Iam not exactly sure if i will recieve them, my daughter and her boyfriend who are the parents of my 2 grandchildren, they are not being productive parents i dont want to do this...

    Thomas’s Answer

    A court can grant grandparents visitation. HOWEVER where BOTH biological parents do not want the grandparent to see their child, per the US Supreme Court, the courts are to give great deference for the biological parents knowing who is good for their children. In other words, you will lose.
    If you feel the kids are in danger, contact CPS and express your concerns. If CPS investigates and finds a problem with the biological parents caregiving, then CPS could bring a case in court to remove the children from the biological parents temporarily or forever, in which case the court may go looking for someone to take care of the kids (you). Good luck.

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