This must be causing you a great deal of worry. Unfortunately, it would not surprise me if the CBP officer's notes make it into your file. That is why DHS officers take notes. In my experience working with the San Francisco USCIS office on I-751 cases like these, you will need a lawyer to help explain on paper and at the interview that your marriage was in good faith, and to help you develop evidence to overcome the accusation that your marriage might have fraudulent. Because we're talking...
Sadly, I don't see how the proposed rule, if it is ever implemented, would help.
My understanding is that a non-immigrant admitted in K-1 status may only adjust status on the basis of the subsequent marital relationship related to the underlying K-1. Choin v. Mukasey, 537 F.3d 1116 (9th Cir. 2008).
I've worked with immigrants in your very same situation, and understand that your case is really complicated. I would strongly recommend consulting with an experienced immigration attorney so...
What an unfortunate situation.
First I'd suggest to be careful what you post in a public forum. It is not confidential.
I am not optmistic about obtaining the waiver unless you can demonstrate some compelling benefit to the United States in granting the waiver. The only way to find out though is to actually file the waiver and see what happens.
Much of this depends on how your wife entered the US. If she entered legally on a visa, and you are a US citizen, then she may be able to adjust status if she's otherwise admissible (eg. no inadmissible crimes, immigration violations, etc. It seems you have a lot of important decisions to make, so in an important case like this, it makes a lot of sense to meet with an experienced immigration attorney to chart out your options.
A waiver would be required for the unlawful presence, either based on hardship to a US citizen or LPR spouse or parent, or under the generic 212(d) non-immigrant visa waiver. You should speak with an immigration attorney who has expertise in these waivers.
It's scary to think that you could be separated for a long time from your husband, and so it's natural to wonder if there's some other way to avoid IV processing in Juarez. In cases like yours, its also natural to want to second guess your attorney that going to Juarez is the only way forward.
In the end, only you can decide whether your attorney is trustworthy. Before hiring one, you should do your research and ask around. Once you hire your attorney, try to keep the lines of...
You're in a very difficult spot. I feel that the Board of Immigration Appeals would consider you inadmissible, and the law of the federal 9th circuit is really in flux based on the decision this month in Carrillo de Palacios v. Holder, 662 F.3d 1128 (9th Cir. 2011), which vacated an earlier decision which flatly stated that the April 1, 1997 unlawful re-entry bar did apply. What that means is that the 9th circuit (where you live) now has no clear rule on how to treat these cases, so the Board'...
Your answer depends on whether your wife has ever lived illegally in the US. If not, then a spouse petition followed by an immigrant visa application with affidavit of support would be filed. The process time can vary but is 6 months to a year to be conservative. Because it's so important to get this right the first time you should work with an immigration lawyer.
I'm glad to hear that your case is moving forward. It's best to have an immigration lawyer helping you in court but from what you've said it seems you'll have a marriage fraud interview with USCIS and if the petition is approved you'll have a hearing on the green card application in front of the judge. If you entered without a visa the judge might not be able to hear your case. It's important to have a lawyer help with this.